Smoker Malfunction Turns Routine Inspection Into Involuntary Barbecue

A routine hive inspection in rural Tennessee escalated into a small-scale conflagration when a beekeeper's smoker malfunctioned, producing what eyewitnesses described as "less of a gentle puff and more of a flamethrower." Wilbur Fumeston, a third-year beekeeper, was conducting a standard inspection of his six-hive apiary when his smoker, which he had loaded with pine needles and burlap, emitted a jet of flame approximately eighteen inches long. "The instructions say to produce cool, white smoke," Fumeston recounted. "What I produced was hot, orange fire. These are different things." The bees, predictably, did not find the fire calming. Approximately 30,000 bees departed the hive in what Fumeston characterizes as "an organized evacuation" and what his wife, watching from the kitchen window, characterizes as "the scariest thing I have ever seen." The fire was contained to a small patch of grass adjacent to the apiary, though the smoke column was reportedly visible from Interstate 40, prompting two motorists to call the fire department. Fumeston sustained minor burns to his left glove and significant burns to his pride. The bees returned to the hive within two hours, seemingly unimpressed by the entire event. "I've ordered a new smoker," Fumeston said. "And I've enrolled in a beekeeping refresher course that I probably should have taken before the first course of action, which was buying bees."