Beekeeper Realizes She Has Been Talking To Bees More Than Humans For Entire Month

A data-minded beekeeper in Montana has discovered through self-tracking that she spent the entire month of July directing more words toward her honey bee colonies than toward other human beings. Elaine Propolis, a software engineer by trade, began tracking her daily verbal output after her partner observed that she "narrates her hive inspections like a nature documentary." Using a wearable microphone and speech-to-text software, Propolis logged 47,000 words spoken to bees during July, compared with approximately 18,000 words spoken to humans. The bee-directed speech included hive inspection commentary, encouragement during queen checks, and what Propolis classifies as "apiary small talk." Common phrases directed at bees included: "Looking good, ladies," "Who's been busy?", "Excellent propolis work," and the more concerning, "You understand me better than anyone." "The bees are genuinely better listeners," Propolis explained. "They don't interrupt, they don't check their phones, and their feedback, while limited to stinging, is at least honest." Propolis's partner, who declined to be named, confirmed that dinner conversations have increasingly centered on hive dynamics. "Last week she compared our relationship to a failing colony and suggested we 'requeen the situation,'" the partner reported. Propolis has no plans to reduce her bee-directed communication, arguing that the colonies have shown measurable improvement since she began narrating inspections. "Hive Seven's honey production is up 15% since I started giving them pep talks," she said. "Correlation isn't causation, but I'm not stopping."