Pour-Over Demonstration Takes Longer Than Actual Relationship It Ended

A first date at a specialty coffee shop ended abruptly when a barista's pour-over demonstration exceeded the duration of the romantic connection it was intended to impress. The date, between software developer Marcus Kettle and marketing coordinator Diane Quick, lasted approximately six minutes. The pour-over demonstration that Marcus requested "to show Diane what real coffee is about" lasted seven minutes and forty-five seconds. "He asked the barista to explain the entire process," Diane recounted. "The grind size, the water temperature, the bloom phase, the pulse pours. I finished my water, checked my phone, and realized I could be anywhere else." Marcus, who describes himself as "passionate about extraction," maintained that the demonstration was integral to the date experience. "Coffee is a conversation starter," he insisted. "You learn a lot about someone by how they respond to a forty-five-second bloom." Diane's response to the forty-five-second bloom was to excuse herself to the restroom and leave through the side entrance. The barista, who completed the pour-over unaware that one member of the audience had departed, presented the finished cup to Marcus with the observation that "it turned out really well." "It did turn out really well," Marcus confirmed, drinking both his cup and the one Diane had ordered. "Ethiopian Sidamo, natural process, notes of blueberry and rejection." Marcus has since adjusted his dating strategy to include only coffee shops that serve batch brew, which requires no demonstration. He reports that second dates have increased by 100%, from zero to zero.