Blurriest Bigfoot Photo in History Hailed as 'Most Compelling Evidence Yet'

The International Society for Cryptozoological Research announced Monday that it has received what it is calling 'the most compelling photographic evidence of Sasquatch in decades' -- a photograph so blurry that no individual element within it can be identified with any confidence. The image, captured by hiker Dennis Focal on a trail in Washington's Olympic National Forest, depicts what appears to be either a large bipedal figure, a tree stump, a shadow, or -- in the assessment of one skeptical analyst -- 'a thumb partially covering the lens.' 'The ambiguity is actually what makes it so compelling,' said ISCR Director Dr. Miranda Murk. 'Previous photographs have been too clear, making them easy to debunk. This image resists debunking because there is simply nothing to debunk. It's pure potential.' The photograph was taken at approximately 4:47 PM on an overcast day with a smartphone that Focal admits he was holding 'while also holding a granola bar and running.' The resulting image is 847 by 640 pixels of what Focal describes as 'a dark shape that moved with purpose.' Enhancement attempts have proven inconclusive. Digital analysis by three separate labs produced three different interpretations: 'possible primate,' 'possible bear,' and 'possible Subaru Outback in the middle distance.' Dr. Murk considers the disagreement encouraging. 'When experts can't agree on what something is, it means it could be anything. And anything includes Bigfoot.' Focal has returned to the trail with a higher-quality camera but reports that 'conditions haven't been right' for a follow-up sighting. He describes ideal conditions as 'overcast, slightly foggy, with low light and some camera shake -- the same conditions that produce the best evidence.'