Wendigo Completes Couch-to-5K Program, Terrifies Local Running Club

A wendigo -- the malevolent spirit of Algonquin legend associated with insatiable hunger, winter, and the deep forests of the Great Lakes region -- has reportedly completed a Couch-to-5K running program with the Duluth Road Runners, posting a final 5K time of 14 minutes and 22 seconds, which placed it first in the group by a margin of nearly four minutes. The creature, which registered under the name 'Wendy G.' and listed its previous running experience as 'extensive but informal,' joined the nine-week program in December. Group leaders initially noted nothing unusual about the participant beyond its height (estimated at seven feet), its leanness (described as 'skeletal'), and its insistence on running exclusively after dark. 'We're an inclusive club,' said group leader Barbara Stride. 'We don't turn people away because they're thin or tall or prefer evening runs. We thought Wendy was just a very dedicated beginner with an unusual schedule.' Concerns emerged during week four, when the group's GPS tracking app showed Wendy completing training runs at speeds exceeding 30 miles per hour through densely wooded terrain where no trails exist. 'The app showed her route going straight through a state forest, over a frozen lake, and through what I'm fairly certain is a cliff face,' said running partner Tom Cadence. 'I texted her about it and she said her GPS must be glitchy. I accepted that because the alternative was too upsetting.' The group's suspicions crystallized during the final 5K, held on a Saturday morning along the Lakewalk. Wendy arrived at the starting line in sub-zero temperatures wearing shorts and no shoes. She finished the race in 14:22, having lapped the second-place finisher, and was last seen sprinting into a tree line at a pace that Tom estimated at 'faster than my car.' Wendy has not responded to the group's congratulatory text messages. Her registration form listed a mailing address in the Superior National Forest that corresponds to no known structure. 'I'm proud of her progress,' said Barbara. 'Week one she could barely pace herself. By week nine she was the fastest thing in northern Minnesota. That's exactly what the program is designed to do.'