Yeti Expedition Returns From Himalayas With Frostbite, No Yeti, and a Newfound Respect for Sherpas

A six-member expedition to the eastern Himalayas organized by the Cryptid Research Alliance has returned to Kathmandu after a 21-day search for the yeti that produced no yeti, three cases of mild frostbite, one lost tent, and what expedition leader Dr. Amanda Summit described as 'a profoundly humbling experience on every possible level.' 'The mountain was not cooperative,' Dr. Summit said from a hospital bed where she was being treated for frostbitten toes. 'We set up infrared cameras at 16,000 feet, deployed acoustic monitors across three valleys, and collected 240 hair and scat samples. None of the cameras captured anything. The acoustic monitors recorded wind. The samples were all from yak.' The expedition's four Sherpa guides, led by veteran mountaineer Pasang Tenzing, provided logistical support throughout the trip and were, according to Dr. Summit, 'unfailingly professional despite clearly thinking we were insane.' 'They were very polite about it,' Dr. Summit said. 'But on day three, Pasang said something to the other guides in Nepali and they all laughed for about two minutes. Our translator said he'd said, the mountain gives what the mountain gives. But I suspect that's a generous translation.' Pasang, reached for comment, said: 'The yeti is an important part of our cultural tradition. Whether it walks in the snow or walks in the imagination, it is real to the people who carry its story. Also, these researchers should have brought warmer boots.' The expedition's most significant finding was the discovery that their base camp had been ransacked overnight on day fourteen, with food stores scattered across a wide area. Initial excitement about possible cryptid activity was tempered by the discovery of crow and rodent tracks throughout the site. 'Something opened the food containers,' Dr. Summit maintained. 'Something with hands.' 'Crows are very clever,' Pasang observed.