Bard Player Insists On Singing In Character, Cannot Sing

A player who chose the bard class for his tabletop RPG character has insisted on performing all in-character songs vocally at the table, despite possessing a singing voice that his fellow players have described, in private, as "what happens when you step on a lute." Brennan Verse, 29, created Melodius Stringfellow, a half-elf bard of the College of Lore, for a campaign that began in September. He informed the group during session zero that he would be "committing fully to the role" and that this commitment would include original songs performed at the table during all bardic inspiration and spellcasting moments. "Immersion is everything," Verse explained. "You can't play a bard and just say 'I sing a song.' You have to sing the song. That's the whole point of the class." Verse's performances, which average two per session, involve original lyrics set to melodies that one player described as "adjacent to music in the way that a drawing of a horse is adjacent to a horse." The lyrics, which Verse writes between sessions, are delivered with full theatrical commitment and occasional hand gestures. A recent performance, intended to inspire the party before a combat encounter, included the couplet: "Rise up, brave warriors, take up your swords / For destiny calls us with really big words." The performance lasted ninety seconds. The party sat in silence for an additional four seconds before the DM said "Roll performance." Verse rolled a 19. With his +8 modifier, the total was 27. The tavern crowd erupted in applause. The DM described patrons weeping with emotion. At the table, the actual reception was somewhat different. "The disconnect between what his character is doing and what we are experiencing is the most immersion-breaking thing at the table," said fellow player Hannah Rogue. "His character is a virtuoso. Brennan sounds like a goat that learned English. But the dice say he's good, so we clap." Verse has begun work on a concept album for Melodius Stringfellow. The group has not been informed.