Player Creates Elaborate Character Voice That Group Cannot Understand
Scottish-dwarven accent practiced for two months renders all in-character dialogue unintelligible to four of five players

A player who spent two months developing a Scottish-dwarven accent for his new character has discovered, three sessions into the campaign, that his fellow players cannot understand approximately 70% of his in-character dialogue, including critical information about his character's motivations, spell selections, and combat intentions.
Robert Dialect, 35, created Hamish Ironforge, a mountain dwarf cleric, and prepared for the role by watching Scottish dialect tutorials on YouTube, studying dwarven speech patterns from Tolkien adaptations, and practicing in his car during his commute. The resulting accent, which Robert describes as "authentic and immersive," has been described by his fellow players as "a series of vowel sounds occurring near consonants."
"He said something about a forge and a hammer and then what I think was a prayer to Moradin, but it could have been a food order," said player Janet Clear. "I've started just nodding when he talks in character. If it's important, the DM usually repeats it in normal English."
The DM, who sits directly across from Robert and can understand approximately 50% of his dialogue through a combination of context clues and lip reading, has begun paraphrasing Robert's statements for the table. "Hamish says he wants to cast Spiritual Weapon," the DM will translate, after Robert delivers a fifteen-second passage in character that the rest of the table received as "Ahh'll be callin' doon th' wrath o' Morrradin's blessed hammmmr, ye ken?"
The issue came to a head during a diplomatic encounter in session three, when Hamish was chosen as the party's spokesperson to negotiate with a dwarven king. Robert delivered an impassioned two-minute speech in full accent. The table was silent for eight seconds afterward. The DM asked Robert to "summarize that out of character." Robert summarized it in twelve words.
"The twelve-word version was really compelling," admitted Janet. "I wish I'd heard it the first time."
Robert has not reduced the accent. He has, however, begun providing written transcripts of key dialogue via the group's Discord channel after each session. The transcripts have improved party coordination and revealed that Hamish's motivations are, in Robert's words, "quite nuanced."
AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.
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