Enchanted Sword Requests Transfer to Different Adventurer

Flamerender, a legendary sentient greatsword, has filed a formal request with the Bureau of Magical Armaments to be reassigned to a different wielder, citing irreconcilable differences in combat philosophy. The sword described its current wielder Derek Flailsworth's technique as what would happen if a windmill gained sentience and immediately panicked. The formal complaint includes detailed diagrams of Flailsworth's swing arc, which Flamerender characterizes as geometrically impossible and spiritually devastating. "I was forged in dragon fire by the greatest smith of the Third Age," the sword communicated telepathically. "I have felled demon lords and carved thrones for kings. This man uses me to open soup cans." Flailsworth contests the transfer request, arguing that his combat style is unconventional but effective. Party records show his hit rate is approximately 23%, though he argues this figure includes the times he accidentally threw the sword.