Miniature Painting Backlog Now Qualifies As Archaeological Site

A tabletop RPG enthusiast's collection of unpainted miniatures has grown to a volume and age that his wife has described as "less of a hobby backlog and more of a sedimentary record of impulse purchases." Derrick Sprue, 41, currently possesses approximately 840 unpainted miniatures stored in sixteen plastic bins in the basement. The oldest, a metal goblin from a 2016 Kickstarter campaign, has never been primed, based, or touched since it was removed from its packaging and placed in what Sprue calls the "painting queue." "I'll get to it," Sprue said, a phrase his wife reports he has used to describe the miniature backlog, the garage organization project, and the bathroom tile repair with equal frequency and sincerity. Sprue's painting output averages approximately three miniatures per month when he is actively painting, which occurs in bursts of two to three weeks separated by dormant periods of four to six months. At this rate, clearing the current backlog would take approximately 23 years, not accounting for future purchases. Future purchases, however, are already scheduled. Sprue has backed four miniature Kickstarter campaigns currently in production, representing an estimated 200 additional miniatures expected to arrive between now and 2028. "Each time I back a new project, I tell myself it'll motivate me to paint the ones I have," Sprue explained. "New miniatures inspire me. The inspiration lasts until the box arrives and I open it and see how many there are and put them in the queue." The queue, organized loosely by intended campaign use, contains miniatures for campaigns that have ended, campaigns that never started, and campaigns that Sprue is planning to run "once I paint the miniatures," creating what his wife describes as "a circular dependency that no project manager would approve." Sprue's three most-painted miniatures are display pieces that sit in a glass case in the living room. Visitors regularly compliment them. "Thank you," Sprue says each time. "They represent 0.3% of my collection."