Monster Union Votes to Strike Over Unpaid Overtime
Goblins, skeletons, and one beholder demand compensation for adventuring parties that take too long.

The Allied Monsters and Hostile Entities Workers' Collective has voted overwhelmingly to authorize a work stoppage, citing chronic unpaid overtime caused by adventuring parties who take unreasonably long to clear dungeon rooms.
Shop steward Grubnok the Adequate, a goblin stationed in Room 7, explained the core grievance. "My shift is eight hours. That's the deal. But last Tuesday, a party of five spent eleven hours in my room alone because the wizard kept trying to identify a mundane torch. I'm not getting paid for those extra three hours."
The situation has been complicated by the fact that many monsters are classified as independent contractors rather than employees, a designation the union calls a transparent attempt to avoid providing health insurance to creatures who are routinely set on fire.
Dungeon management has offered a compromise involving a mandatory room-completion timer, after which monsters would be permitted to simply leave, but the union rejected the proposal, noting that walking off the job mid-ambush is a significant safety hazard.
AI-generated satirical fiction. Not real news.
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