Party's Alignment Chart For Ordering Pizza More Contentious Than Any In-Game Moral Dilemma

A tabletop RPG group's pre-session pizza order has devolved into a dispute more heated and philosophically complex than any moral dilemma the DM has presented in eighteen months of campaigning, with the five players naturally sorting into alignment-based factions over the question of toppings, crust style, and whether pineapple constitutes a legitimate pizza ingredient or an act of war. The dispute, which occurs in some form before every session, reached its apex last Saturday when the group attempted to order from a new pizzeria with a minimum order of two large pizzas. "Derek wants pepperoni and nothing else, which is lawful neutral," summarized DM Fiona Pepperoni. "Marcus wants half veggie, half meat, which is neutral good. Janet wants white pizza with no sauce, which is chaotic good because she's being creative but it's still pizza. Brennan wants anchovies, which is chaotic neutral because it only affects people near him. And Patricia suggested pineapple." Patricia's suggestion triggered a twenty-three-minute debate that the DM noted "had more passionate arguments than the session where they decided whether to execute the surrendering bandit chief." The pineapple faction (Patricia, alone) argued from a position of individual liberty and flavor innovation. The anti-pineapple faction (Derek, Marcus, and Brennan) argued from tradition, texture incompatibility, and what Derek described as "the natural order of pizza." Janet abstained, noting that the white pizza she wanted had no sauce and therefore existed outside the pineapple jurisdiction. The group ultimately ordered three pizzas: one pepperoni, one half-veggie half-meat, and one Hawaiian for Patricia, who ate four of eight slices and offered the rest to the table. No one accepted. The pizza discussion consumed thirty-one minutes of the four-hour session. The DM has proposed a formal pizza ordering protocol, submitted as a Google Form, to be completed 24 hours before each session. The form has been described by Marcus as "more bureaucratic than the DAO governance system in Brennan's backstory." The DM has noted that unlike the backstory's DAO, the pizza form actually produces results.