Retired Dungeon Boss Opens Bed and Breakfast, Guests Complain About Involuntary Boss Fights at Check-In

A retired dungeon boss, an ancient red dragon named Scorathax the Everburning, has opened a bed and breakfast in the converted ruins of his former lair, but the establishment has received mixed reviews after guests reported that Scorathax has difficulty suppressing his boss fight instincts, particularly when guests arrive at the front desk or approach the breakfast buffet. 'Check-in was fine,' wrote one reviewer on TripAdvisor. 'The dragon gave us our room key, showed us the amenities, and pointed out the hot springs, which are naturally heated by his own internal body temperature, which is a nice touch. Then my husband asked if there were extra towels, and the dragon's eyes glowed red and he said NONE SHALL CLAIM THE TOWELS OF SCORATHAX in a voice that shook the building. He then apologized and brought us towels. Three stars.' The bed and breakfast, called The Hoard and Hearth, occupies the upper chambers of Scorathax's former lair in the Ashpeak Mountains. The dragon retired from active dungeon service two years ago, citing 'burnout, joint problems, and a declining interest in killing people.' The conversion from dungeon to hospitality venue involved removing approximately 4,000 traps, installing plumbing, and replacing the throne room with a breakfast nook. Reviews indicate that the accommodations are 'surprisingly comfortable' and the hot springs are 'extraordinary,' but that Scorathax's customer service skills require refinement. 'He breathed fire during breakfast,' wrote another guest. 'I reached for the last croissant and he instinctively breathed fire. He said it was a reflex. The croissant was incinerated. He offered me a scone instead. It was a good scone, but I was frightened.' Scorathax, reached for comment, acknowledged the incidents. 'For eight hundred years, anyone who entered my lair was trying to kill me and take my things,' he said, curled around the reception desk. 'Now they enter my lair and I give them things. Towels. Croissants. Room keys. The instincts don't disappear overnight. I'm working on it. I've been seeing a therapist. She's a mind flayer, which has its own challenges, but we're making progress.' The establishment's most popular feature, according to reviews, is the treasure room, which Scorathax has converted into a gift shop. Guests can purchase replica coins, scales shed during the dragon's seasonal molt, and a t-shirt reading 'I SURVIVED THE HOARD AND HEARTH (barely).' The t-shirt is the best-selling item. Scorathax finds this hurtful but has not set anyone on fire over it. 'Growth,' he said. 'That's what the therapist calls it.'