Man Insists He Doesn't Need an Electrician, Successfully Creates New Color of Sparks

Amateur home improver Dennis Fitz reportedly discovered a new color on the electromagnetic spectrum Saturday while attempting to install a ceiling fan without professional assistance or, according to fire investigators, any discernible plan. Fitz, 44, decided to replace a light fixture with a combination ceiling fan and light after watching what he described as 'part of a video' on the subject. He began the project by turning off what he believed was the correct breaker, a claim later disproved by subsequent events. 'The first sparks were normal orange,' Fitz recounted from his front lawn. 'Then there was a pop and they turned blue. Then I connected the red wire to the other red wire and they turned this color I've never seen before. Like teal but angry.' Electrician Sandra Grounding, who was called to the scene after the breaker panel ignited, confirmed that Fitz had connected the fan motor lead to the neutral bus bar while simultaneously grounding the hot wire to a copper water pipe. 'What he created was not a functioning circuit,' Grounding said, reviewing the damage. 'It was more of a theoretical concept. Like if you asked a toddler to draw electricity from memory.' Fitz's wife has reportedly hired a licensed electrician to complete the installation. Fitz maintains that he was 'ninety percent of the way there' and that the fire was 'a minor setback.' The previously unobserved spark color has been submitted to the IEEE for classification.