Electrical Supply House Employee Has Not Seen Sunlight in Three Weeks, Reports Feeling 'Grounded'

Counter employee Marcus Lumen of Consolidated Electrical Supply has reportedly not left the building during daylight hours in 21 consecutive days, a streak he attributes to 'back-to-back inventory cycles, two sick coworkers, and a genuine love of being surrounded by conduit.' Lumen, 34, arrives at the supply house before sunrise and departs well after dark, spending his shifts in a windowless warehouse illuminated exclusively by the same T8 fluorescent tubes he sells in bulk. 'I can tell you the stock number for every item in this building,' Lumen said, his pupils adjusting with notable difficulty to the photographer's flash. 'MC cable, 12/2, 250-foot roll? That's 68583. Carlon one-gang old work box? 1099-N. Don't even get me started on the conduit fittings. I dream about conduit fittings.' Coworkers report that Lumen has developed abilities that border on the preternatural. 'He can identify THHN from THWN by smell,' said warehouse manager Diane Splice. 'He sorted a mislabeled pallet of breakers by manufacturer in under four minutes. I'm starting to think the fluorescent light is doing something to him.' Lumen's doctor has recommended vitamin D supplements and 'going outside.' Lumen countered that the supply house carries UV-rated cable and that 'if the sun was important, it would have a UL listing.' He has requested a cot for the stockroom. Management is considering it, noting that his product knowledge has reduced order errors by 40 percent.