Falconer Spends $3,000 on Custom Mews, Hawk Prefers Sitting on Top of Refrigerator

Master falconer Douglas Tiercel invested $3,200 and four months of construction time into a custom-built mews for his red-tailed hawk, Imperator, only to discover that the bird has an 'absolute and non-negotiable preference' for the top of the kitchen refrigerator. The mews, which occupies a significant portion of Tiercel's backyard, features climate control, a weighted block perch, a copper bath pan, and walls lined with cedar planks chosen specifically for their calming aromatic properties. 'I consulted three master falconers on the design,' Tiercel said. 'I read every publication the North American Falconers Association has ever produced. I oriented the window for morning light. The ventilation system cost more than my car's air conditioning.' Imperator was introduced to the mews on a Tuesday. She spent four minutes inside before flying to the back door, waiting to be let in, and ascending to the top of the refrigerator, where she has remained for the majority of the subsequent three weeks. 'The refrigerator hums,' explained raptor behaviorist Dr. Ellen Lure. 'It's warm on top. It's the highest point in the room. From the hawk's perspective, it is a superior perch in every way. The fact that it cost zero dollars is, I'm sure, not lost on the hawk.' Tiercel has attempted to make the mews more appealing by adding a heated perch, playing recorded songbird calls, and placing quail tidbits on the block. Imperator inspected the offerings once, mantled over a quail leg, and returned to the refrigerator. 'She looks down at me from up there,' Tiercel said. 'Not with affection. Not with contempt. With the absolute certainty that she has made the correct decision and I have not.' The mews is currently being used to store lawn equipment.