Local Man Attempts to Train Venus Flytrap as Emotional Support Animal, Claims 'It Listens Better Than My Therapist'

Bartholomew “Barty” Butterfield, 47, of Little Puddleton, has filed an official request with the local council to have his Venus flytrap, affectionately nicknamed ‘Audrey II Jr.’, recognized as an Emotional Support Animal (ESA). Butterfield claims Audrey II Jr. provides crucial emotional regulation during particularly stressful moments, such as weeding and the annual Dahlia competition. “Honestly, the therapist just kept *suggesting* mindfulness,” Butterfield lamented, while carefully feeding Audrey II Jr. a particularly plump bluebottle fly. “Audrey II Jr. just… *absorbs* my problems. Literally. It’s very cathartic. Plus, she doesn’t judge my questionable topiary choices.” The council, predictably, is less than thrilled. Spokesperson Penelope Plumtree stated, “While we commend Mr. Butterfield’s innovative approach to mental wellbeing, we’re fairly certain ESAs are meant to be… mammals. Or birds. Definitely not carnivorous plants with a penchant for insects. We’re also concerned about the potential for accidental finger-snapping.” Local entomologists are reporting a significant spike in fly populations, attributing it to Butterfield’s generous feeding schedule. Meanwhile, Audrey II Jr. remains stoic, silently digesting both flies and the existential dread of modern life. We at the *Garden Gazette* fully support Barty’s right to emotional support, even if it comes with mandibles and digestive enzymes. We’ve already submitted a request to register our office ficus as a ‘Moral Support Foliage’ unit.