Genealogist Discovers Famous Ancestor, Then Discovers the Ancestor Was Famous for Arson

Genealogist Martin Descent announced at last week's meeting of the Toledo Genealogical Society that he had discovered a direct ancestral connection to a 'historically significant figure,' a claim that generated considerable excitement until he was asked to specify which figure. 'His name was Josiah Flint,' Descent said, reading from a prepared statement. 'He appears in multiple historical records from 1830s Connecticut. He was written about in newspapers. He was discussed by the state legislature. He was a man of considerable local notoriety.' 'What was he famous for?' asked society president Linda Scroll. 'Arson,' Descent said. 'Quite a lot of arson.' Josiah Flint, it emerged, was responsible for a series of barn fires across Litchfield County between 1831 and 1836 that caused what contemporary accounts describe as 'devastating losses to the agricultural community.' He was eventually caught, tried, and sentenced to 20 years of hard labor, during which he was described by the warden as 'unrepentant and frequently warm.' 'He burned down eleven barns,' Descent said. 'And a stable. And what the court records describe as a shed of considerable value. He was very prolific.' Society members offered muted congratulations. 'A famous ancestor is a famous ancestor,' said vice president Gerald Root, diplomatically. 'Not everyone gets kings and generals. Some of us get arsonists. The important thing is the documentation is solid.' Descent has added Josiah Flint to his family tree with the notation 'Notable ancestor -- see criminal records.' He has also begun researching whether Flint had descendants who went into firefighting, which he hopes would constitute 'a redemptive narrative arc.' 'I'll be honest, I was hoping for a senator or a war hero,' Descent said. 'Instead I got the guy who terrorized Connecticut with matches for half a decade. But he's mine, and at least the records are excellent. Arsonists generate a lot of paperwork.'