Hiker Completes Entire AT Without Ever Successfully Hanging a Bear Bag

A southbound Appalachian Trail thru-hiker has completed all 2,190 miles of the trail without once successfully hanging a bear bag, a streak of failure he attributes to 'a fundamental incompatibility between my throwing arm and the laws of physics.' Trail name 'Groundscore' attempted to hang a bear bag at every shelter and campsite along his six-month SOBO thru-hike, using variously the PCT method, the counterbalance method, the simple throw-over, and what he described as 'just hurling the rope at the tree and hoping.' 'Not once,' Groundscore confirmed at Springer Mountain. 'Not a single time did the rope go over the branch, stay over the branch, and allow me to hoist the bag to a height that would discourage a bear. My success rate was zero percent across approximately 170 attempts.' Fellow hikers confirmed the account. 'I watched him try for forty-five minutes at a shelter in the Smokies,' said trail name 'Ranger Danger.' 'He hit himself in the face with the rock bag twice. He got the line tangled in a lower branch four times. He threw it clean over the tree once, which was impressive but unhelpful.' Groundscore eventually developed a workaround involving sleeping with his food bag inside his pack, inside his tent, while 'thinking intimidating thoughts at bears.' 'It's not recommended,' he admitted. 'But in six months, no bear took my food. Whether that's because of my strategy or because bears simply weren't interested in my dehydrated meals is a question I choose not to examine.' He has since ordered an Ursack, a bear-resistant food bag that requires no hanging, which he described as 'the greatest invention in the history of the trail, and I will fight anyone who says otherwise.'