Man Completes Entire Thru-Hike Without Once Enjoying It

Scott Pemberton completed a northbound thru-hike of the Appalachian Trail on Saturday at Mount Katahdin, concluding 2,190 miles of hiking that he described as 'the worst six months of my life, which I finished entirely out of spite.' 'I hated every step,' Pemberton said, standing at the summit sign with an expression his friends described as 'triumph mixed with deep regret.' 'The rain. The bugs. The monotony of trees. I wanted to quit on day three. I wanted to quit every day after that. But quitting would have meant admitting I made a bad decision, and I don't do that.' Pemberton, a 34-year-old project manager from Connecticut, quit his job and sold his car to fund the hike after reading a memoir about the transformative power of long-distance walking. 'The book said I would find myself out here,' he said. 'I found myself. Turns out I'm a person who hates hiking.' His trail journal, which he posted online, chronicles a steady decline from cautious optimism ('Day 1: This might be something') to philosophical despair ('Day 47: There are only trees. There have always been only trees. There will always be only trees'). Fellow thru-hikers reported that Pemberton was a reliable but joyless companion. 'He never complained,' said trail friend 'Snickers' Delgado. 'He just kept walking with this look on his face like a man marching toward something he couldn't avoid.' When asked if he would recommend the experience, Pemberton paused for seventeen seconds before saying, 'I recommend finishing things. I do not recommend starting them.' He has already registered for the Pacific Crest Trail.