Trail Angel's Cooler Contains Only LaCroix and Expired Hummus

A group of northbound Appalachian Trail thru-hikers arrived at a trailhead parking lot to discover a trail angel's cooler containing twelve cans of unflavored LaCroix, a tub of hummus dated three weeks prior, and a handwritten note reading 'Trail Magic! Enjoy!' The hikers, who had been discussing their anticipated trail magic finds for approximately eighteen miles, stood in silence around the cooler for what witnesses estimated was a full minute. 'I had been thinking about a cold Coke since Erwin,' said trail name 'Calorie Deficit.' 'Like, really thinking about it. Visualizing the condensation on the can. The first sip. It was keeping me going up the climb. And then I opened a cooler and found sparkling water with no flavor and dip that could qualify as a biohazard.' Trail angel etiquette prevented the hikers from expressing their disappointment directly. All twelve cans of LaCroix were consumed, each accompanied by what observers described as 'a face that was trying very hard to look grateful.' The hummus was not consumed. Trail name 'Iron Gut,' known for eating gas station sushi without incident, examined it and said simply, 'No.' The trail angel, identified only by a business card reading 'Sponsored by Mindful Hydration LLC,' could not be reached for comment. 'We are grateful for all trail magic,' Calorie Deficit clarified. 'Every act of generosity matters. But there is a special kind of emotional journey that begins with expecting a Mountain Dew and ends with holding a room-temperature can of Pamplemousse LaCroix in a parking lot in Tennessee.' The group left a thank-you note in the cooler, as is customary. Its sincerity has been the subject of internal debate.