Ichthyologist's Dating Profile Lists 'Fish Identification' as Primary Hobby, Receives Zero Matches

Dr. Marcus Fin, 36, a postdoctoral researcher in ichthyology at the University of Rhode Island, has received zero matches on three separate dating platforms after creating profiles that prominently feature his ability to identify fish by their caudal fin shape. 'I led with my strengths,' Dr. Fin said, scrolling through his profile on his phone. 'My bio says I can distinguish between 400 species of wrasse at a glance. My interests include specimen preservation, otolith analysis, and walks on the beach -- specifically to look for dead fish.' Dr. Fin's profile photos include: a photo of him holding a 30-inch tautog, a photo of him holding a smaller tautog, a photo of him holding a fish that is not a tautog but 'could easily be mistaken for one, which is the whole point,' and a photo of his microscope. 'None of these show your face,' noted his sister, who was enlisted to review the profiles. 'The closest thing to a face photo is this one where you're looking at a fish and I can see part of your ear.' Dr. Fin dismissed the suggestion that his profile might benefit from non-fish content. 'If someone can't appreciate a man who knows his labrids from his scarids, they're not the right person for me,' he said. His attempts at conversation with the few users who viewed his profile have also been unsuccessful. One exchange, which he shared, consisted of his opening message: 'Fun fact: the ocean sunfish can produce up to 300 million eggs at once. How's your Thursday?' The recipient did not respond. Dr. Fin remains optimistic. 'The right person is out there,' he said. 'Someone who gets excited about lateral line morphology. Someone who understands why I keep a preserved pufferfish on my nightstand. I just have to cast a wider net.' He paused. 'That's a fishing metaphor,' he added. 'I use those a lot. That might also be part of the problem.'