Kinesiology Student's Thesis on Optimal Chair Height Exceeds 400 Pages

Kinesiology graduate student Brian Ergon has submitted a 412-page master's thesis titled 'An Exhaustive Biomechanical Investigation of Optimal Seated Surface Height for the Adult Human Population,' which his thesis advisor, Dr. Linda Vertebra, has described as 'thorough beyond all reason.' 'His literature review alone is 97 pages,' Dr. Vertebra said, holding the printed manuscript, which required its own box. 'He reviewed every study on sitting published since 1923. He found a German paper from 1931 about milking stool height and included it. It's in the bibliography. Under S, for Sitz.' Ergon's thesis explores chair height from biomechanical, anthropometric, physiological, psychological, cultural, and philosophical perspectives. Chapter 7, titled 'The Phenomenology of Sitting: What Does It Mean to Be Seated?', was flagged by his committee as 'exceeding the scope of kinesiology.' 'I felt it was important to understand the subjective experience of chair height,' Ergon said. 'You can't optimize something without understanding what optimization means to the person doing the sitting. That's basic phenomenological praxis.' The thesis includes 23 tables, 47 figures, a biomechanical model of the seated pelvis that took six months to develop, and an appendix containing the self-reported comfort ratings of 300 participants who sat in chairs of varying heights for up to four hours each. 'Several participants quit,' Dr. Vertebra noted. 'One said it was the most boring research experience of her life. She was sitting in a chair. That was the whole experiment.' Ergon's conclusion, reached on page 408, states: 'The optimal chair height for a healthy adult is approximately 17 to 18 inches, depending on individual anthropometrics.' 'That's two sentences,' Dr. Vertebra said. 'He needed 412 pages to get to two sentences. I've suggested he consider a career in academic publishing, where this kind of thing is valued.'