Personal Trainer Achieves New Record by Using Word 'Proprioception' Eleven Times in One Session

CrossFit Level 3 certified trainer Blake Sagittal set what colleagues believe to be a new record Tuesday by using the word 'proprioception' eleven times during a single sixty-minute personal training session with a client who had asked, specifically, for 'exercises to make my arms less noodly.' 'Your arms aren't the issue,' Sagittal reportedly told client Denise Waverly within the first three minutes. 'The issue is proprioception. Your body doesn't know where your arms are in space. We need to recalibrate your proprioceptive system before we can even discuss hypertrophy.' Waverly, a 42-year-old accountant, nodded and picked up a dumbbell. 'Put that down,' Sagittal said. 'We're not there yet. First, I need you to close your eyes and touch your nose. This is a proprioceptive assessment.' Over the following fifty-seven minutes, Sagittal deployed 'proprioception' in contexts including 'proprioceptive awakening,' 'proprioceptive deficit,' 'proprioceptive chain,' and the phrase 'your proprioceptors are essentially asleep,' which he delivered while Waverly stood on one foot on a BOSU ball with her eyes closed. 'I still don't know what it means,' Waverly told reporters afterward. 'He said it so many times that I started to think maybe I had it — like a disease. Like I was going to have to tell my husband I'd been diagnosed with proprioception.' Sagittal defended his approach. 'Every major kinesiological framework begins with proprioceptive awareness. You can't load a motor pattern without first mapping the afferent feedback loops. Denise's mechanoreceptors were clearly undertrained.' Waverly has requested a new trainer, specifically one who 'uses words that are also in the dictionary I own.'