Knapper's Wife Files for Divorce, Citing Irreconcilable Differences Over Garage Being Full of Rocks

Pamela Debitage has filed for divorce from husband Walter Debitage, citing irreconcilable differences that center primarily on the fact that their two-car garage has been occupied since 2019 by what Pamela describes as 'approximately two tons of rocks and an ungodly number of deer parts.' The filing, obtained by this publication, includes a detailed inventory of the garage's contents: sixteen bins of raw flint, chert, and obsidian sorted by geological formation; four antler tines used for pressure flaking; two hammerstone collections; a leather lap pad 'stained with substances I don't want identified'; and a workbench covered in what Walter calls 'debitage' and Pamela calls 'very small, very sharp rocks that get tracked into the house.' 'I haven't parked in my own garage in five years,' Pamela said. 'My car has hail damage. His rocks do not. He covers the obsidian with blankets when it's cold. He has never offered me a blanket.' Walter has contested the divorce, arguing that flintknapping is 'a meditative practice that connects us to our shared human heritage' and that the garage contains 'irreplaceable lithic material, some of which took millions of years to form.' 'The Burlington chert alone is worth over $800,' Walter said. 'You can't put a price on 350-million-year-old Mississippian-era cryptocrystalline silica. Actually, I just did — it's $800.' The couple's therapist, Dr. Lydia Median, has recommended a compromise in which Walter reduces his collection to 'a volume compatible with also storing a midsize sedan.' Walter has described this as 'asking me to choose between my marriage and the Cretaceous Period.' As of press time, Walter is sleeping on the couch, which is, he notes, 'at least not in the garage, despite what Pamela suggested.'