Lithic Scatter Analysis Takes Dark Turn When Grad Student Finds Modern Debitage

A promising archaeological excavation in rural Montana was abruptly terminated last week when lithic scatter initially attributed to a Paleoindian workshop site was traced to Dr. Gerald Bulb, a retired dentist who has been knapping in the same meadow every Sunday morning since 2019. 'We had eleven square meters of debitage,' said lead archaeologist Dr. Fiona Excavation. 'Beautiful flakes, consistent reduction patterns, evidence of prepared core technology. We were preparing a paper for submission. Then we found a Diet Coke can in the same stratum.' The discovery of the aluminum can prompted a more thorough investigation, which revealed modern boot prints, a folding camp chair partially buried by leaf litter, and what Dr. Excavation described as 'a concerning number of granola bar wrappers.' 'I knew something was wrong when the obsidian turned out to be from a supplier in Oregon,' said graduate student Marcus Taphonomy. 'Paleoindians did not order obsidian from mountainmanobsidian.com.' Dr. Bulb, 67, was located after the team posted inquiries at local businesses. He confirmed that he visits the meadow weekly to practice his knapping technique and has been leaving his debitage on-site because 'it seemed like littering to put rocks in a trash can.' 'I'm very sorry about the confusion,' Dr. Bulb said. 'But in my defense, nobody asked me about it, and the meadow does look quite archaeological now.' Dr. Excavation estimates that the false excavation cost the university approximately $45,000 in fieldwork expenses. She has requested that Dr. Bulb either find a new knapping location or 'at minimum, put up a sign saying MODERN KNAPPER, NOT PALEOINDIANS.' Dr. Bulb has agreed to relocate to his backyard, though he notes that his homeowners association 'has questions about the growing pile of chert flakes on the patio.'