Area Man Brings Handmade Obsidian Arrowhead to Show-and-Tell, Third Graders Unimpressed

Avid flintknapper and father-of-one Marcus Biface volunteered for his daughter's third-grade show-and-tell Friday, presenting a hand-knapped obsidian arrowhead that he described as 'a replica of a Late Archaic corner-notched point, crafted using traditional direct percussion and pressure flaking techniques.' The presentation was received with what teacher Mrs. Patterson described as 'polite but measurable indifference.' 'One kid asked if it was a piece of a broken plate,' Marcus reported. 'Another asked why it wasn't shiny like the ones in Minecraft. A third asked if he could see my phone instead.' Marcus's fifteen-minute presentation covered the geological properties of obsidian, the physics of conchoidal fracture, the cultural significance of projectile point technology in prehistoric North America, and the specific reduction sequence he employed to create the point. He brought visual aids. 'I had diagrams,' Marcus said. 'I showed them how the force propagates through the cryptocrystalline matrix to produce a controlled flake. I demonstrated platform preparation. I used the word "bulb of percussion" in a sentence. They were not interested.' The children subsequently ranked show-and-tell presentations by applause volume. First place went to a Charizard Pokemon card presented by a boy named Dylan. Second place went to a fidget spinner that glowed in the dark. Marcus's obsidian arrowhead placed seventh out of eight entries, narrowly beating a photograph of a classmate's dog, which was a 'blurry picture taken from far away.' 'My daughter told me on the drive home that I "did fine but next time maybe bring something cool,"' Marcus said. 'I made a weapon from volcanic glass using a deer antler. I don't know what her definition of cool is.'