Master Knapper's 'Perfect Clovis Point' Immediately Confiscated by Wife for Use as Cheese Knife

Award-winning flintknapper Harold Conchoidal spent forty hours over three weekends producing what he described as 'the finest Clovis point I have ever created' — a symmetrically fluted, bifacially worked obsidian projectile point measuring 4.7 inches in length — only to have it immediately requisitioned by his wife, Diane, who said it was 'perfect for the cheese board.' 'The fluting alone took eleven hours,' Harold said, watching Diane slide the point through a wedge of triple-cream brie at a dinner party. 'Each channel flake had to be struck at precisely the right angle with exactly the right force using a custom copper billet I spent two months making. She's spreading Boursin with it.' Diane, for her part, was unrepentant. 'It's the best cheese knife we've ever had,' she told guests. 'The edge is incredible. It goes through manchego like air. Harold makes things for 13,000-year-old imaginary hunters. I found it a purpose.' Harold's objections — which included a detailed explanation of Clovis technological complexity, the cultural significance of fluted point manufacture, and the fact that the obsidian was hand-collected from a specific formation in Oregon — were overruled by what Diane described as 'the reality that we have a dinner party and no cheese knife.' Fellow knappers have expressed solidarity. 'We've all been there,' said percussionist and knapper Glenn Debitage. 'I made a perfect Solutrean laurel leaf last year. My daughter uses it as a bookmark.' Harold has announced he will begin work on a replacement Clovis point, this time in jasper. 'She doesn't like the color of jasper,' he said. 'It's a tactical decision.'