New Word Submission Rejected for Being 'Just Two Existing Words Pushed Together'

The editorial board of the Standard English Dictionary has rejected a public submission proposing the inclusion of 'deskfast,' defined as 'breakfast consumed at one's workplace desk,' on the grounds that it is 'not a word but rather two words that have been negligently combined.' 'We receive approximately 3,000 new word submissions per year,' said submissions editor Dr. Nora Neologism. 'Most are legitimate candidates. Some are jokes. And then there's a category we call desk-plus-breakfast words — compounds so obvious that calling them neologisms insults the concept of linguistic creativity.' The submission was filed by marketing consultant Derek Blend, who argued that deskfast fills a 'lexical gap' in the English language. 'There's no word for the specific experience of eating a sad croissant over your keyboard at 8:47 AM while reading emails,' Blend said. 'Deskfast captures that. It's evocative. It's efficient. It's needed.' 'It's desk plus breakfast,' Dr. Neologism responded. 'Anyone can do this. Chairlunch. Carbedinner. Toiletsnack. The English language does not need these words because the English language already has phrases, which are groups of words that work together without being fused into a single unit.' Blend's submission was one of seventeen compound-word proposals rejected in the same review cycle. Others included 'sadwich' (a sandwich eaten while sad), 'boredom scrolling' (which Dr. Neologism noted 'is already two perfectly functional words'), and 'procrastibaking' (baking as a form of procrastination), which the board admitted was 'genuinely clever but still not getting in.' Blend has resubmitted with additional evidence of usage, including screenshots of 340 tweets and a LinkedIn post from a CEO who used the word 'unironically, which is worse,' according to Dr. Neologism. The board maintains its position. 'The bar for dictionary inclusion is higher than desk plus food,' Dr. Neologism said. 'If it weren't, every meal would have a compound word and we'd need a bigger dictionary.'