Proof That P Equals NP Found On Napkin, Lost In Laundry

A tenured mathematics professor claims to have solved the P versus NP problem during a bar trivia night, only to lose the proof when the cocktail napkin on which it was written went through the wash in his shirt pocket. Dr. Leonard Axiom, 53, of the University of Wisconsin-Madison, says the proof came to him during round three of Tuesday night trivia at The Cartesian Bar and Grill, somewhere between a question about state capitals and one about 1980s pop music. "It was so elegant," Axiom recalled, staring at the empty pocket of a shirt that had been laundered by his wife Wednesday morning. "Three lines. Maybe four. A novel application of combinatorial topology that reduced every NP problem to a polynomial-time solvable form. I remember the general shape of the argument but not the critical lemma." Axiom's trivia teammates confirm that he became suddenly quiet during the geography round and began writing furiously on a napkin. "He said 'I've got it' and then 'nobody move,'" reported teammate and fellow professor Margaret Ring. "Then he ordered another beer and put the napkin in his breast pocket. We came in fourth place." The Clay Mathematics Institute, which offers a one million dollar prize for a proof of P equals NP or P does not equal NP, declined to award the prize based on Axiom's verbal recollection. "We require a written proof," a spokesperson stated. "A description of the general vibes of a proof is not sufficient." Axiom has since purchased a waterproof notebook and returned to the bar every Tuesday, ordering the same beer in the same seat. The critical lemma has not returned. "Inspiration is non-deterministic," he observed. "Which is ironic, given the subject matter."