Baermann Funnel Found in Kitchen Cabinet, Roommate Concerned

Non-scientist roommate Derek Flatley reported growing concern Thursday after discovering a Baermann funnel — a standard laboratory apparatus used for extracting nematodes from soil samples — in the kitchen cabinet of the apartment he shares with graduate student and nematologist-in-training Priya Cephalob. 'I thought it was a fancy coffee dripper,' Flatley told reporters. 'Then I noticed it was full of dirt and water, and something was moving at the bottom. Priya said it was just nematodes. Just nematodes. As if that sentence should be reassuring.' The Baermann funnel, a deceptively simple device that exploits nematode hydrotropism and negative geotaxis to separate specimens from soil matrices, had been set up on the kitchen counter between a toaster and a fruit bowl for what Cephalob described as 'approximately three weeks.' 'Laboratory space is limited,' Cephalob explained. 'The kitchen counter has excellent ambient temperature for extraction. Also the light is better for counting under my dissecting scope, which is on the dining table.' Flatley noted that the dining table has also been colonized by petri dishes, a stereomicroscope, and what he initially believed was parmesan cheese but turned out to be 'desiccated root tissue.' 'She keeps telling me nematodes are everywhere, that every handful of soil contains thousands of them, that they make up eighty percent of all individual animals on Earth,' Flatley said. 'I think this is supposed to make me feel better. It does not make me feel better.' Cephalob has offered to relocate the funnel to the bathroom. Flatley has declined this compromise. The nematodes extracted from the funnel were later identified as Rhabditis and Cephalobus species, which Cephalob called 'the tenants who actually pay rent around here.'