Soil Sample from Colleague's Garden Yields New Species, Also Ends Friendship

Dr. Helena Rhizosphere has discovered a previously undescribed species of free-living nematode in a soil sample she collected from her colleague Dr. Martin Topsoil's garden during a barbecue, in what Dr. Topsoil has described as 'a violation of both professional ethics and the sacred hospitality of the sausage sizzle.' Dr. Rhizosphere reportedly excused herself from the gathering at approximately 3 PM, ostensibly to use the bathroom, but was later observed by Dr. Topsoil's wife crouching behind the compost bin with a trowel and a series of labeled bags. 'I noticed the soil structure while walking to the patio,' Dr. Rhizosphere explained in a statement. 'It was clearly a high-organic-matter, well-aerated loam with excellent moisture retention. Any nematologist would have done the same. The conditions were too promising to ignore.' Dr. Topsoil disagreed. 'She came to my house. I gave her a burger. She sampled my garden without consent. That is not how science works and it is not how barbecues work.' The discovered species, a member of the order Rhabditida, has been provisionally described in a pre-print paper listing Dr. Rhizosphere as sole author. Dr. Topsoil has demanded co-authorship on the grounds that 'it came from my garden, which I maintain with significant personal investment in compost and mulch.' The university's research ethics committee is reviewing the case. In the meantime, Dr. Topsoil has installed a fence around his compost area and uninvited Dr. Rhizosphere from all future social events. 'She can discover new species on her own property,' he said. 'My soil is off limits.'