Frame Selection Paralysis Enters Third Hour as Patient Narrows Choice to 47 Pairs

A patient at Westfield Optical has been selecting frames for over three hours, during which time she has narrowed her options from the full display of 340 frames to what she describes as 'a shortlist of 47, maybe 48 if we reconsider the burgundy ones.' Deborah Lens, 42, arrived at 10 AM for what she expected to be 'a quick frame choice, maybe twenty minutes.' It is now 1:15 PM. She has tried on every frame in the shop at least once, photographed herself in 112 of them, sent the photographs to four friends for consultation, received conflicting advice from all four, and asked dispensing optician Marcus Rimless the question 'do these make me look intelligent?' approximately 90 times. 'The first thirty times I gave an honest assessment,' Rimless said. 'By time sixty I was saying yes to everything. By time ninety I had lost all ability to distinguish between frames. They all look the same to me now. I may need to take a leave of absence.' Lens has organized her shortlist into categories including 'professional but approachable,' 'intellectual but not off-putting,' 'vintage but not old,' and a problematic category labeled 'maybe with a different haircut.' Her husband, who accompanied her and was initially described as 'supportive,' left after ninety minutes to sit in the car. He has sent one text reading: 'Get the blue ones. Please. Any blue ones.' Lens has rejected the blue ones. 'They make my face look round,' she said. 'My face is round. But the frames shouldn't confirm it. They should propose an alternative geometry.' Rimless has offered to set aside the shortlist overnight. Lens has declined, saying she 'might lose momentum.' The shop closes at 5 PM. Rimless describes the situation as 'ongoing.'