Patient Diagnosed With Dry Eye After WebMD Convinced Him He Had Orbital Tumor

A 29-year-old patient identified as Kevin Slit-Lamp arrived at Clearview Optometry on Monday presenting with what he described as 'a confirmed orbital mass with probable metastasis,' based on three hours of internet research that began when he noticed his left eye was 'kind of gritty.' The actual diagnosis: mild evaporative dry eye disease secondary to incomplete blinking. 'He walked in holding a folder,' said examining optometrist Dr. Meibom Gland. 'Inside was a printed symptom flowchart from WebMD, a list of orbital tumor types ranked by 'how much they matched his symptoms,' and — I am not exaggerating — a handwritten goodbye letter to his cat.' Slit-Lamp's self-diagnostic journey began with the search query 'why does my eye feel scratchy,' progressed through 'eye scratchiness causes,' escalated to 'eye pain serious conditions,' and culminated at 'orbital rhabdomyosarcoma survival rate' within what he described as 'a very focused ninety minutes.' 'The grittiness was in one eye, which WebMD said could indicate a mass effect,' Slit-Lamp explained. 'Then I noticed my eyelid was slightly puffy, which the website said was consistent with proptosis. Then I pushed on my eye and it hurt, which I now understand is because I pushed on my eye, but at the time seemed like a very bad sign.' Dr. Gland's examination revealed a tear breakup time of four seconds, fluorescein staining of the inferior cornea, and meibomian gland expression consistent with inspissated oils — all classic signs of dry eye disease and none remotely suggestive of orbital pathology. 'I prescribed preservative-free artificial tears four times daily, warm compresses, and a complete ban on medical self-diagnosis via the internet,' Dr. Gland said. 'He seemed both relieved and slightly disappointed. I think he had emotionally committed to the tumor.' Slit-Lamp has since reported improvement with the artificial tears. He has not retracted the goodbye letter to his cat, noting that 'it was honestly overdue regardless of the diagnosis.'