Principal Cellist's Chair Squeak Identified as Source of Mysterious Note in Recordings

A mysterious B-flat that has appeared in every Westfield Philharmonic recording for the past two years has been traced to the principal cellist's chair, which produces a faint but consistent squeak when she shifts her weight during sustained passages. The discovery was made by recording engineer Patricia Waveform, who spent three months isolating the anomalous frequency across 47 separate recordings. 'It appeared in every take, in every piece, at irregular but predictable intervals,' Waveform said. 'Always a B-flat. Always faint. Always at moments of physical intensity. We initially suspected a ventilation duct.' The investigation expanded to include acoustic analysis of the concert hall, examination of all instrument cases for rattling hardware, and a comprehensive check of the building's plumbing. The source was identified when Waveform placed a contact microphone on the principal cellist's chair during a recording session and captured what she described as 'an unmistakable squeaking B-flat coinciding with the cellist's every postural adjustment.' Principal cellist Beatrice Endpin has been informed of the finding and has declined to replace the chair. 'This chair and I have been together for eleven years,' she said. 'We performed the Elgar Cello Concerto together. We survived the Shostakovich cycle together. I am not abandoning it because it makes a small noise that nobody noticed for two years until someone with too much time and a contact microphone went looking for it.' Endpin has also noted that the B-flat is 'in tune, which is more than can be said for some members of this orchestra.' Waveform has proposed applying lubricant to the chair's joints. Endpin has agreed to this compromise 'on the condition that the chair's character is preserved.'