Dawn Chorus Walk Attendees Unable to Hear Birds Over Sound of Their Own Gore-Tex

The Westfield Wildlife Trust's annual dawn chorus walk was disrupted on Sunday when the collective rustling of 23 participants' waterproof jackets produced a continuous sound that drowned out all birdsong within a 30-meter radius. Walk leader Dr. Wren Binocular stopped the group four minutes into the walk after realizing that the Gore-Tex, nylon, and waxed cotton garments worn by the attendees were generating what she estimated to be 55 decibels of rustling — roughly equivalent to a normal conversation and significantly louder than the dawn chorus at the walk's woodland location. 'I asked everyone to stand still,' Dr. Binocular reported. 'They stood still. I heard a robin. I pointed toward the robin. Twenty-three people turned simultaneously to look. The sound of twenty-three waterproof jackets turning was like a small avalanche. The robin stopped singing.' Attempts to mitigate the noise proved unsuccessful. Dr. Binocular requested that participants move slowly and deliberately. The slow, deliberate movements produced a low-frequency rustling that she described as 'worse, somehow — like a tide of synthetic fabric coming in.' One participant, wearing what he described as 'a technical shell with welded seams and a hood with storm baffles,' produced a sound when raising his binoculars that another walker compared to 'someone crumpling a very large crisp packet, slowly, on purpose.' 'Modern waterproofing is the enemy of birdwatching,' Dr. Binocular said. 'Our grandparents went birding in wool. Wool is silent. These people are wrapped in materials designed to repel water by making as much noise as possible. The birds can hear them coming from the car park.' Next year's dawn chorus walk invitation will include a note requesting 'soft-shell or fleece garments only.' Participants requiring waterproofing have been asked to 'stand at the back and remain stationary.'