Ornithological Society's AGM Derailed by 90-Minute Argument About the Plural of 'Titmouse'

The Westfield Ornithological Society's Annual General Meeting was unable to reach its scheduled agenda items on Saturday after a 90-minute dispute over the correct plural form of 'titmouse' consumed the entirety of the meeting's allotted time. The argument began during the minutes of the previous meeting, when secretary Barbara Quill read aloud a passage containing the phrase 'several titmice were observed at the feeder.' Member Arthur Grammar immediately objected, stating that the correct plural is 'titmouses,' as 'titmouse' is not etymologically related to 'mouse' and should not follow the same pluralization pattern. 'Mouse becomes mice because of a historical vowel change in Old English,' Grammar explained. 'Titmouse is a corruption of the Old English titmase, meaning small bird. The mouse part is a folk etymology. You wouldn't say titmeese. Therefore, titmice is incorrect.' This prompted immediate opposition from seven members who insisted that 'titmice' is the established and accepted form. 'It's in the dictionary,' said member Helen Audubon. 'It is the form used by the RSPB, the BTO, and every birding guide published in the last century. It doesn't matter what the Old English was. We are not speaking Old English. We are in a community center in Westfield.' A third faction, led by retired linguist Professor Derek Syntax, proposed 'a gathering of titmouse' as a collective noun that would avoid the plural question entirely. This was rejected by both other factions as 'needlessly ornate.' The chairman attempted to move the meeting to the first agenda item — the annual budget — on four separate occasions. Each attempt was derailed by a renewed objection regarding the minutes. The budget, membership fees, field trip schedule, and election of officers have been deferred to an extraordinary general meeting next month. The minutes of this meeting will refer to the birds in question as 'members of the family Paridae' to avoid further incident.