Ornithologist's PowerPoint Contains 340 Slides of Nearly Identical Warblers

A visiting ornithologist's lecture at the Westfield Natural History Society ran 90 minutes over schedule on Thursday after Dr. Kenneth Phylloscopus presented 340 slides of Phylloscopus warblers that audience members uniformly described as 'identical.' The lecture, titled 'Subtle Distinctions: A Visual Guide to Leaf Warbler Identification,' was scheduled for one hour. It ran for two and a half hours, during which Dr. Phylloscopus displayed photograph after photograph of small, greenish-brown birds that he insisted were 'clearly distinguishable to the trained eye.' 'Slide 47 is a chiffchaff,' he told the audience. 'Note the supercilium. Now look at slide 48. This is a willow warbler. The supercilium is slightly longer and slightly more defined. Can you see? It's obvious once you know what to look for.' The audience could not see. A post-lecture survey found that zero percent of attendees could distinguish between any two consecutive slides. 'They all looked like the same bird standing on different twigs,' said audience member Patricia Branch. Dr. Phylloscopus, undeterred, continued through all 340 slides, pausing on each to highlight features that he described variously as 'diagnostic,' 'unmistakable,' and 'you really can't miss it.' The audience really could miss it. Several attendees fell asleep. One was observed playing a game on her phone with the brightness turned down. The society's chairperson, who had been giving increasingly urgent time signals from the back of the room since slide 180, eventually approached the podium at slide 312 and whispered 'we need to stop.' Dr. Phylloscopus replied, 'I've only got 28 left,' and continued. He received polite applause at the end. The chairperson has requested that future lecturers submit a maximum slide count. 'Fifty,' she said. 'Fifty slides. And they should be of different birds.'