Coprolite Collection Valued at $2 Million Causes Existential Crisis for Museum Insurance Adjuster

Insurance adjuster William Claymore, who spent fifteen years underwriting Impressionist paintings and Renaissance sculptures before being reassigned to the natural history division, has filed a formal complaint with his employer after being asked to appraise and insure the Royal Ontario Museum's coprolite collection, valued at an estimated $2.3 million. 'A coprolite is fossilized feces,' Claymore explained, his voice flat. 'I am being asked to assign a replacement value to ancient animal droppings. Last month I insured a Monet. This month I am writing coverage for 4,000 specimens of mineralized dinosaur waste.' The collection, which includes examples from Tyrannosaurus rex, various sauropods, and a particularly noteworthy specimen attributed to a Cretaceous crocodilian, is considered one of the most scientifically valuable assemblages of fossilized excrement in the world. 'Each specimen tells us what these animals ate, how they digested it, and what parasites they carried,' said curator Dr. Elena Faecal. 'The T. rex coprolite alone contains bone fragments that proved tyrannosaurs crushed and consumed the bones of their prey. It's worth $180,000.' Claymore stared into the middle distance. 'One hundred and eighty thousand dollars,' he repeated. 'For a dinosaur dropping. This is a real thing I have to explain to underwriters in London.' The appraisal process requires Claymore to individually examine, photograph, and assign value to each specimen, a task he estimates will take three weeks. 'I've handled Picassos,' he said. 'I've assessed the value of a Faberge egg. And now I am holding a Jurassic turd with calipers, wondering where my career went wrong.' Dr. Faecal noted that coprolites are 'among the most underappreciated fossils' and that Claymore's discomfort 'only proves our point about the need for better public education on ichnology.'