Paleontologist's Dating Profile Lists 'Geological Time' Under Availability, Gets Exactly the Response You'd Expect

Field paleontologist Dr. Samantha Bedrock, 34, has reported zero matches on three separate dating platforms after crafting profiles that she describes as 'authentic representations of my personality and interests,' but which friends and colleagues have characterized as 'aggressively paleontological.' Her Hinge profile lists her interests as 'Mesozoic fauna, stratigraphic correlation, and long walks through sedimentary exposures.' Under 'A perfect first date,' she wrote: 'You take me to a road cut and we argue about the K-Pg boundary.' Her Bumble profile includes the prompt 'I'm looking for...' completed with: 'Someone who understands that when I say I'll be back soon, I might mean it in the geological sense.' On Tinder, her bio reads simply: 'I spend six months a year in the desert digging up dead things. I know how to use a rock hammer. Looking for someone who won't be intimidated by either of those facts.' 'I thought the rock hammer line was appealing,' Dr. Bedrock said from a field camp in the Gobi Desert, where she is currently excavating a therizinosaur. 'It implies competence, adventurousness, and upper body strength. I don't understand why it's not working.' Her profile photos include a selfie taken mid-excavation (covered in dust, holding a femur), a picture of her standing triumphantly on a Jurassic outcrop in Mongolia, and a close-up of a particularly well-preserved trilobite that she describes as 'my best angle.' Dating coach Marcus Vine reviewed the profiles and offered frank feedback. 'The trilobite photo has to go,' he said. 'Also, listing your availability as "September through November, weather permitting" is limiting your pool.'