Paleontologist Discovers New Dinosaur Species, Names It After Ex-Wife 'So She'll Finally Be Remembered for Something'

Dr. Theodore Sediment of the Montana Museum of Natural History announced the discovery of a new theropod species on Monday, which he has formally named Karensaurus irritabilis in what he insists is 'a purely scientific decision that has nothing to do with my personal life.' The specimen, recovered from Late Cretaceous sediments in the Hell Creek Formation, is estimated to have been approximately two meters tall, bipedal, and equipped with what Dr. Sediment describes as 'an unusually developed hyoid apparatus suggesting a capacity for sustained, high-volume vocalization.' 'The naming conventions of paleontology allow discoverers considerable latitude,' Dr. Sediment explained at a press conference, adjusting his field hat. 'Karensaurus reflects the Greek root for... actually, it's just named after Karen. My ex-wife Karen. She knows what she did.' The species description, published in the Journal of Vertebrate Paleontology, maintains a clinical tone throughout its 34 pages but includes several passages that reviewers flagged as 'potentially editorializing,' including a characterization of the animal's social behavior as 'almost certainly territorial, confrontational, and exhausting to cohabitate with.' Karen Sediment, reached for comment, said she was 'not surprised, given that this is exactly the kind of petty thing Theodore would do,' and noted that she has retained an attorney to explore whether paleontological nomenclature falls under defamation statutes. The International Commission on Zoological Nomenclature has accepted the name, noting that 'the naming of species after personal acquaintances is a longstanding tradition, and we do not adjudicate the discoverer's motivations, however transparent they may be.'