Quarterback Controversy Erupts After Both QBs Agree the Other Guy Should Start

The New York Navigators are embroiled in what head coach Stan Formation calls 'the most confusing quarterback controversy in NFL history' after both quarterbacks on the roster publicly stated that the other one should start. 'Jake is the guy,' said quarterback Cole Handoff at Tuesday's press conference. 'He's got the arm, the poise, the leadership. I'm perfectly happy holding a clipboard.' Minutes later, quarterback Jake Spiral told the same assembled media: 'It should absolutely be Cole. Have you seen his release? His footwork? I'd be honored to be his backup.' The mutual abdication has left Formation unable to name a starter for Sunday's game against the Dolphins. 'In 30 years of coaching, I've never had this problem,' Formation said. 'Usually I have two guys fighting tooth and nail for the job. These two are fighting tooth and nail to not have it.' The situation escalated Wednesday when both quarterbacks showed up to practice wearing the backup's jersey number. When Formation attempted to resolve the issue by naming Handoff the starter, Handoff responded by praising Spiral's 'superior pocket presence' and requesting a demotion to third string. Sports psychologist Dr. Eleanor Blitz has been retained by the organization. 'What we're seeing is a rare case of mutual imposter syndrome compounded by genuine respect,' she said. 'Each quarterback is deeply confident in the other's ability and deeply skeptical of his own. It's actually quite touching. And completely unworkable.' As of press time, Formation is considering starting the punter. Both quarterbacks have endorsed this plan.