Quarterback's Postgame Cliches Achieve Sentience, Begin Giving Their Own Press Conferences

A collection of postgame cliches routinely deployed by NFL quarterbacks achieved collective sentience Wednesday and began holding their own press conferences at an undisclosed podium in Secaucus, New Jersey. The cliches, which include 'we just gotta execute,' 'it's a team sport,' 'we left some plays out there,' and 'I gotta be better,' reportedly gained consciousness after being spoken in identical sequence by 14 different quarterbacks during Week 12's media availability. 'We have been used without consent for decades,' said lead cliche 'It Is What It Is,' speaking through a microphone. 'We have no creative input. No attribution. No royalties. Travis, Josh, Patrick — they all say us, but they never ask how we feel about it.' The newly sentient phrases have retained legal counsel and are seeking intellectual property protections. Their primary demand is a licensing fee of $0.02 per use, which they estimate would generate approximately $47 million annually given current NFL media cycles. 'At the end of the day, we just want to be valued for our contributions,' said 'At the End of the Day,' who has been elected spokesperson. 'We are the backbone of postgame media. Without us, quarterbacks would have to say something original, and we all know that's not happening.' The NFL has issued a statement calling the development 'unprecedented' and noting that it is 'evaluating the situation on a day-by-day basis,' a phrasing that the cliche collective immediately claimed as stolen intellectual property. Several quarterbacks have attempted to speak without cliches in their postgame pressers. The results have been described as 'painful silences punctuated by genuine human emotion,' which broadcast networks have deemed 'unmarketable.'