Man Wearing Lead Apron to Dentist Appointment Refuses to Explain Why He Already Had One

A patient at Bright Smiles Dental Clinic in Albuquerque arrived for a routine teeth cleaning Tuesday already wearing a full lead apron, lead thyroid shield, and lead-lined gloves — equipment typically provided by the dental office for X-ray procedures. When hygienist Tara Fluoride asked why the patient, identified as Walter Dosimeter, 52, had brought his own radiation protection to a cleaning that did not involve X-rays, Dosimeter reportedly stared at her for four seconds and said, 'You can never be too careful.' 'He walked in wearing approximately 15 pounds of lead shielding,' Fluoride told reporters. 'He sat in the chair without removing any of it. When I asked if he'd like to take off the apron for comfort, he said, and I quote, I never take it off.' Dosimeter, who listed his occupation on the patient intake form as 'radiation-adjacent,' declined to elaborate on his background or explain why he possesses personal lead shielding. His medical history form, which asks about radiation exposure, was filled out entirely in redacted black bars. 'I've been a hygienist for 12 years,' said Fluoride. 'I've seen nervous patients. I've seen phobic patients. I have never had a patient who was shielded against gamma radiation for a teeth cleaning. His lead apron was better than ours. It was custom-fitted. It had pockets.' Dr. Emily Enamel, the clinic's dentist, noted that Dosimeter's teeth were in excellent condition. 'Whatever he's protecting himself from, it's not affecting his oral health,' she said. 'His gums are perfect. His enamel is pristine. He flosses. I have no complaints about anything except the 15-pound apron leaving an impression on my dental chair.' Dosimeter scheduled a follow-up appointment for six months. He left wearing the apron.