Nuclear Plant's 'Bring Your Child to Work Day' Canceled After Kids Start Glowing With Enthusiasm

The Westinghouse Valley Nuclear Generating Station has canceled its annual Bring Your Child to Work Day after approximately 30 children returned from a guided tour of the cooling pool area exhibiting what plant management described as 'an unusually vivid enthusiasm' and what the NRC described as 'bioluminescence consistent with low-level radioisotope exposure.' 'The children are fine,' said plant spokesperson Cassandra Halflife in a statement released at 2 a.m., which several parents noted was an unusual time for reassuring news. 'The faint green glow some parents have observed is a perfectly normal reaction to excitement. Children glow when they're excited. Everyone knows this.' The incident occurred when tour guide and junior technician Derek Dosimeter took the group on what he called a 'freestyle detour' past the spent fuel cooling pool, which he described to the children as 'a really big hot tub for special rocks.' 'The kids loved it,' Dosimeter said. 'They were pressing their faces against the viewing glass. They were asking great questions like, why is the water blue, and why does my skin feel warm, and why is that alarm going off.' The NRC has dispatched an inspection team. In the interim, parents have been advised to 'monitor their children's luminosity' and report any instances of 'anomalous photon emission lasting more than 48 hours.' Several parents have expressed concern, though others noted the practical benefits. 'Honestly, the night-light savings alone are substantial,' said one father, whose daughter now illuminates her bedroom at approximately 0.3 lux. 'We haven't turned on a lamp since Thursday.'