Smoke Detector's Americium-241 Source Gains Cult Following Among Homeopaths

A growing wellness trend involving the extraction of americium-241 from household smoke detectors has alarmed both the Nuclear Regulatory Commission and anyone with a basic understanding of ionizing radiation. The trend, which originated on a wellness podcast called 'Radiant Living,' encourages followers to remove the small americium-241 source from their smoke detectors and wear it as a pendant to 'harmonize the body's natural electromagnetic resonance.' 'Americium-241 is a powerful alpha emitter,' said podcast host and self-described 'nuclear wellness consultant' Crystal Becquerel. 'Alpha particles are the body's way of communicating with the universe. By wearing a source close to the heart chakra, you amplify that communication.' Physicists have responded with what the American Physical Society called 'a level of alarm we typically reserve for actual nuclear emergencies.' 'Alpha particles are the body's way of destroying DNA,' said Dr. Howard Shielding of the Health Physics Society. 'They are not communicating. They are ionizing. These are fundamentally different activities. One of them gives you cancer.' The NRC has issued an advisory noting that while the americium-241 in smoke detectors is safe when enclosed in its designed housing, removing it and wearing it against bare skin is 'inadvisable in the strongest possible terms.' The advisory further notes that disassembling a smoke detector and extracting its radioactive source may violate federal regulations. Becquerel has responded to the criticism by pointing out that 'mainstream science also said the Earth was flat,' which it did not. The podcast has been removed from Spotify. Apple Podcasts has placed it behind a content warning. Sales of replacement smoke detectors have spiked 400 percent.