Debate Judge Develops Thousand-Yard Stare After 47th Consecutive Round on Universal Basic Income

Veteran debate judge Professor Marian Adjudicata has been placed on indefinite leave after developing what psychologists are calling 'acute argumentation fatigue syndrome,' brought on by judging forty-seven consecutive debate rounds on Universal Basic Income over the course of two tournament weekends. 'I have heard every possible argument for and against UBI,' Professor Adjudicata said from her living room, where she has been sitting motionless in an armchair for three days. 'I have heard the Finland study cited 412 times. I have heard the phrase means-tested versus universal so often that the words have lost all meaning. They're just sounds now. Mouth sounds.' Professor Adjudicata's condition first manifested during round thirty-eight, when a debater began explaining the concept of inflation and she reportedly whispered 'I know' forty-three times in succession. By round forty-five, fellow judges noticed she had stopped writing on her ballot and was instead drawing small circles. In round forty-seven, she awarded both teams zero points and wrote 'please stop' in the comments section. 'Resolution fatigue is real and underdiagnosed,' said sports psychologist Dr. Helen Burnout, who has begun treating Professor Adjudicata. 'These judges are exposed to the same arguments hundreds of times with minor variations. It's like being trapped in a conversational Groundhog Day where everyone thinks they're being original.' The National Debate Association has announced plans to rotate resolutions more frequently and to provide judges with access to noise-canceling headphones during 'particularly derivative rounds.'