Area Man Deploys Socratic Method at Thanksgiving Dinner, Asked to Leave Before Dessert

Philosophy professor Dr. Alan Elenchus was asked to leave his family's Thanksgiving gathering Thursday after deploying the Socratic method during dinner conversation, reducing his aunt to tears and prompting his mother to declare him 'dead to this family until you learn to just say the casserole is good.' The incident began when Dr. Elenchus's Aunt Brenda mentioned she had used a new sweet potato casserole recipe. 'I simply asked her what she meant by new,' Dr. Elenchus told reporters from a Denny's parking lot, where he ate his Thanksgiving dinner. 'Is novelty inherent in the recipe itself, or in her relationship to it? Had the recipe not existed before she discovered it? These are important questions.' According to witnesses, the interrogation escalated over seventeen minutes. 'He asked Brenda to define casserole,' said cousin Michael. 'Then he asked her to define define. Then he asked whether her belief that the casserole was good was justified true belief or mere opinion. Brenda started crying around minute nine.' Dr. Elenchus then turned his attention to his brother-in-law's claim that the Dallas Cowboys 'played well,' which produced what the family describes as 'the worst twenty minutes of collective dining experience since Uncle Frank's incident in 2019.' 'He asked me what I meant by well,' said brother-in-law Steve. 'Then he asked me what I meant by played. Then he asked if the Cowboys even exist in a philosophically meaningful sense. I just wanted to watch football.' Dr. Elenchus's mother has informed him that future holiday invitations are contingent on his signing a 'no Socratic method' pledge. Dr. Elenchus has asked her to define contingent.