Couple's Relationship Tested by Disagreement Over Whether It's a 'Rock' or a 'Mineral'

The two-year relationship between geologist Dr. Amara Lithic and software engineer Kevin Normal has reached a critical juncture over Kevin's persistent refusal to distinguish between rocks and minerals, a failing Dr. Lithic describes as 'intellectually inexcusable.' 'A mineral is a naturally occurring, inorganic solid with a definite chemical composition and an ordered crystalline structure,' Dr. Lithic explained during what witnesses described as 'the angriest dinner party in recent memory.' 'A rock is an aggregate of minerals. They are categorically different things. This is not advanced geology. This is the first week of the first class.' Kevin, who holds a master's degree in computer science and can distinguish between eleven programming languages, maintains that the rock-mineral distinction is 'academic gatekeeping.' 'It came from the ground,' he said, holding up a piece of quartz that Dr. Lithic had brought home from a field trip. 'It's hard. It's gray-ish. It's a rock. Calling it silicon dioxide with a trigonal crystal system doesn't change what it is. It's a rock.' 'It is literally not a rock,' Dr. Lithic responded. 'It is a mineral. A single mineral. If I glued it to another mineral, that would be closer to a rock. The distinction matters.' The argument has expanded to encompass all geological terminology. Kevin recently referred to a piece of obsidian as 'a cool black rock,' prompting a twenty-minute lecture on why obsidian is technically a glass, not a rock, because it lacks a crystalline structure. 'She made me apologize to the obsidian,' Kevin reported. 'I asked him to acknowledge the obsidian's correct classification,' Dr. Lithic clarified. 'That is different from an apology.' Dr. Lithic has placed a laminated geological classification chart on the refrigerator. Kevin has placed a Post-it note on top of it reading 'rocks.' They are currently in couples counseling, where their therapist has admitted she also calls everything a rock.