Venice Sinking? Good. Fewer Instagram Influencers.

Venice, that picturesque postcard of a city built on questionable engineering and even more questionable life choices, is reportedly sinking faster than a politician’s approval rating after a scandal. Experts (read: people who looked at some numbers) claim rising sea levels and land subsidence are to blame. Frankly, I blame the selfie sticks. For decades, Venice has been slowly suffocating under the weight of mass tourism, becoming less a vibrant city and more a themed amusement park for the terminally basic. Every bridge is a runway, every canal a backdrop for a ‘candid’ photo shoot. The locals, meanwhile, are priced out of their homes and forced to commute from the mainland, presumably to escape the endless parade of floral dresses and aggressively cheerful couples. So, yes, let the Adriatic reclaim its territory. Let the pigeons inherit the Piazza San Marco. A slightly submerged Venice is a *less* Instagrammable Venice. A less Instagrammable Venice is a Venice where maybe, just maybe, actual Venetians can afford to buy a loaf of bread without taking out a second mortgage. Of course, the Travel Tribune is deeply concerned about the disruption to travel plans. We’ve already updated our ‘Venice: Before It’s Gone!’ package to include complimentary galoshes and a crash course in underwater photography. Book now, before it’s all fish and forgotten memories! (Disclaimer: Travel Tribune is not responsible for lost luggage, existential dread, or encounters with surprisingly aggressive seagulls.)